| I forgot I had one of these still! |
[01 May 2008|12:59pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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computer humming |
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I went through my old entries and realized how dumb I am and how I want to start using my lj again. It's sooooo weird going back and reading your old stuff and seeing how much you've changed.
I'm like, 300 percent happier now, it's crazy.
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| Saves the Day concert :) |
[28 Sep 2006|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Benny Benassi- Satisfaction |
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HAPPY THREE YEARS LARRY! :)
<33333
you're wonderful!
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| i want you to follow me blind... |
[19 Sep 2006|09:59am] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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music |
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pride and fall- border (larry's myspace) |
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"80 percent of long distance relationships don't work"
"It's possible but not likely"
This is what people are telling me up at school. I am not a statistic. I have no intention of making this impossible. Yet I do sense this to be one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with. My emotion is basically drained. I've pretty much been living in ignorance like everybody else and ignore it all. It hits you, and bad, every so often. You can't hide it. You can't ignore it. You can't extinguish it.
It's there and it will be there for the next four years. I will see my best friend twice a month for the next four years.
I can't do it.
I've already cracked. Why would you break up, "take a break", or even think about having a relationship with someone else if you've already found someone perfect for you. Someone you think is "the one". It's not fair that I'm so young. That I don't enjoy dating around and breaking people's hearts. That I don't fall in love with someone new once a week. I want Larry and I want him around me. I want his smell, his warmth, his smile around me more than twice a month. But I can't. Not unless I want to follow my boyfriend for the rest of my life and end up like my parents. Not sharing a kiss since their last conceived child seventeen years ago. I have fallen so hard for him I can't function properly without his presence. Everything I am is because of him. Every conversation, every joke, every hobby- it's because of him. He shaped me. I can't take credit for who i am or expect to "be myself" around people. Because my self is made from Larry.
Without him I am dry, void, apathetic.
I feel like I'm living without the other half of me...
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| HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
[18 Aug 2006|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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music |
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panic! at the disco |
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Well, I got my license finally. Almost 18 years old for God's sake. Funny story though.
"Dad, if I was going out to dinner tonight and wanted to take the riceburner, would you even let me?"
"ehhhhhh, I don't think so but little by little maybe."
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!
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[15 Aug 2006|02:06pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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mesh- crash |
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I know the crash is coming
'cause I smell the fuel in the morning
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[12 Aug 2006|12:14am] |
See the vapours fading
As they stare into the night
Every time
It's getting harder
To be buttoned up so tight
Don't do anything to us, today
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
There's nothing left to take away
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
I know the crash is coming
Cause I smell the fuel in the morning
I hear the engines stop
But I'll find my way down
I hear the sleeper's waking
As they stare into the sky
All our lives
The rivets breaking
As we struggle up so high
Don't do anything to us, today
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
There's no one left
Who wants to stay
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
I know the crash is coming
Cause I smell the fuel in the morning
I hear the engines stop
But I'll find my way down
I see the takers taking
And we live it all again
Every time a little closer
To the truth without the pain
Don't do anything to us, today
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
There's no one left to play the game
(You're only flesh and bone, you'll really never know)
I know the crash is coming
Cause I smell the fuel in the morning
I hear the engines stop
But I'll find my way down
(You'll really never know)
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| "How depressing. A fridge full of condiments and no food to put them on." |
[09 Aug 2006|01:09pm] |
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mood |
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 a bit nauseous |
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music |
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Interface- Betrayed (Iris remix) |
] |
I am currently eating my first peanut butter and banana sandwich. Unusual, but tasty all in the same. It was either this or bologna and a meatloaf sandwich. There has to be a reason its name corresponds with an Italian city now in ruins. The dude who came up with the shit was prolly like, "The city of Bologna sucks, it's all blown up and crap, and this nasy lunchmeat sux, so I'm gonna name it after it."
Yesterday Larry came over for lunch and we raided my fridge for like a half hour. All we came up with to eat was peanut butter and jelly on hot dog buns and tortilla chips with ranch dressing. He also found something that isn't even in the Webster Dictionary...
We didn't eat the entire day, nonetheless. At least I'll be able to eat in college.
This morning I almost threw up three times while I was brushing my teeth. Attractive.
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[07 Aug 2006|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 god awful migrane |
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music |
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And One- Sometimes |
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AHHHHHHHH HOLY CRAP I LEAVE IN SIXTEEN DAYS!
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| He's no Mac, but... |
[13 Jul 2006|11:13am] |
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mood |
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hungry |
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music |
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Massiv in Mensch |
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This is my new little buddy. He's an expensive little bugger at $1600 but his "little" 17 inch, widescreen Ultra Sharp package (boys, be jealous ;)) kicks total ass with a 1.83 Ghz, dual core processor, 1 gig dual channel memory, and 100 gig harddrive coming up short with a 5400 rpm speed. His sexy nVidea gForce graphics card and Soundblaster high definition sound card make a pretty lethal combination, I must say.
This is the closest to cocky I have ever been. Damn I'm spoiled rotten.
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| Depression comes, depression goes he said |
[05 Jul 2006|02:43pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Culture Kultur- Forever |
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Helloooooooooooo!
I am now home from Florida and Georgia. I will write later about my experiences but there really isn't much to say. Laying on the beach, swimming in the ocean, beach parties with the lifeguards (kidding), and iPorn.
It felt gooooooood to relax. As if I don't lay on my butt all day anyway.
I have a nice orange glow. I am no longer transparent! Hope you all had fun with your moral decay while I was partying with my substance free, messed up family.
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| I got conjunk in my trunk (eyes?) |
[12 Jun 2006|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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Livejournal is so boring now. Nobody uses it because they're all myspace and junk. I don' care what you write about! Start blogging and do it NOW!
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| ewwwwwwwwwww |
[10 Jun 2006|01:48pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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poison the well- zombies are good for your health |
] |
Okay not only do I HATE spiders and have this insane complex with them, but when they grow hair, teeth, nails and two feet long, THEN there's another problem.
/shudders
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| Complete my world, fill me with delight |
[09 Jun 2006|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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Haujobb- S.adow |
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You know you're a nerd when:::
you think coming out of your shell entails talking into the headset during Halo Live.
that's outgoing sheeit.
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| Where is everybody? |
[22 May 2006|06:07pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Neuroticfish- Velocity |
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Q:
Is it unhealthy coming home from school every day and spending my time sleeping for two hours (if not, more)?
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| Three on you's good fun for me |
[21 May 2006|12:55pm] |
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mood |
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thirsty |
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music |
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edge of dawn- losing ground |
] |
So who did one of the members of Combichrist request as a friend and reply back to on myspace?
ME. that's right.
now it's definitely worth driving down to record time and blowing 20 bucks on a cd. haha.
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| Do the words accidental death mean nothing to you? |
[16 May 2006|02:45pm] |
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mood |
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 sympathetic |
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music |
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mind.in.a.box- out of time |
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Metropolis is getting stupid. All you ever read about on their webpage is "MSI is having another piece of crap concert, this and that."
Quote unquote.
sellouts/
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[08 May 2006|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
] |
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music |
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suicide commando- comatose delusion |
] |
Do you like this dress for prom? It's like the cheapest one I can find. $212
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[06 May 2006|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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indifferent |
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music |
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Die Form- Radiomorphism |
] |
Larry thinks he's found my latina alias. She's a soapstar or something. I think she's way too pretty. Her hair is really cute though.
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[06 May 2006|12:14am] |
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mood |
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loved |
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Larry Jock is the cutest boy in the entire world and I am not afraid to openly say that I love him.
We're getting married. that's how it ends.
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stormstalker's journal